Murphy's Laws of Combat

  1. Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms.
  2. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  3. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
  4. The problem with taking the easy way out, is that the enemy has already mined it.
  5. The buddy system is essential to your survival.   It gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
  6. Never draw fire -- it irritates everyone around you.
  7. No combat ready unit ever passed an inspection.
  8. No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.
  9. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
  10. Fortify your front and you'll get your rear shot up.
  11. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.
  12. All five second grenade fuses are three seconds, or all five second fuses will burn out in three.
  13. If it flies, it dies.
  14. Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
  15. Peace is our profession -- mass murder's just a hobby.
  16. Killing for peace if like whoring for virginity.
  17. There's always a way.
  18. It's not the one with your name on it -- it's the round addressed "to whom it may concern" ya gotta think about.
  19. If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.
  20. If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together.
  21. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
  22. Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
  23. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
  24. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
  25. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
  26. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
  27. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
  28. You'll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.

        From the newsletter "INCOMING", volume 2, number 9, February 1995, page 3.
        "INCOMING" is a monthly publication of Chapter #641, Vietnam Veterans of America.